Women And Tattoos Are Incompatible

Sorry but… well, no, I’m not sorry at all, obviously… that was a blatant lie. I digress. I do not agree with tattoo’s on women. It makes them look trashy and classless.

Really, I gotta be honest… it’s fucking childish, and it doesn’t show you up to be the unique free spirit you want the world to see you as. It makes you look untidy, and all it screams is…

“Look at me, I’m stupid enough to mutilate myself for attention!”

A tiny tattoo may be acceptable, depending on what it is and where it is — and if it can be hidden from view easily — but really… What. Is. The. Fucking. Point?

You like Winnie the Pooh? So what!

I like Pizza, but I’m not gonna get a pepperoni tattooed on me, am I?

What’s up with wearing a Winne the Pooh T-Shirt or wearing a little necklace with your favourite little teddy bear on, or something like that?

And no, you’re not getting a tattoo so you can look at it yourself. Don’t lie, because it would obviously be upside down to you, and appear back to front if you were to look at it in a mirror.

You’re getting it for other people, for attention, and trust me, they don’t give a toss that you like Winnie the Pooh. Only you do.

Nor do they care that you have a meaningless tribal tattoo to denote your belonging to the non-existent, yet increasingly common Squiggle Tribe. They don’t give a fuck your mothers name is Trish or that you like hearts and ivy.

What I’ve found is, normally, such women who get tattoos are far from the interesting creatures they are trying to make themselves appear as, but actually brain dead, and they get the tattoo simply because it’s the only semi-interesting thing about them and they have fuck all else to say to anyone but: “Look, Teddy’s.”

Oh, and of course… their friends will usually have them, too. And, where would women be without the guidance of their friends? (Better off… obviously.)

Another thing is, most of the time — even close up — these so-called ‘works of art’ appear as nothing but blobs of ink and look more like port wine stains.

P.S. AFTER I finished writing this article and began looking for a suitable thumbnail image for it, I found this article.

Quote: “the tattoos began to cause embarrassment, negative comments and clothes problems and no longer satisfied the need for uniqueness,”

Beautiful.