Rule #5: Never Intervene In Domestic Arguments

First of all, if you’ve ever intervened in an argument between a couple before, you were a complete fucking idiot.

I want you to repeat that. Say it: “I was a complete fucking idiot.”

That’s right. You were. Now you are going to learn to behave differently.

Let’s set the scenario…

You are out on a night out, you see a man and a woman arguing… maybe even pushing one another… your heart races with excitement (‘cos your own life’s that fucking shit and pathetic) and, eager to prove yourself (sad cunt you are) you are about to run to the aid of the woman.

But, you don’t. You don’t do a damn thing. You walk on by…

At least, that’s what real men do.

He could even smack her in the fucking nose. So what? What fucking business is it of yours? None, pal. None at all.

Are you getting this, or do I need to explain deeper?

Listen. Forget what you’ve seen in Hollywood where the good guy seizes his chance to be the fucking Hero Turd and charges in, saves the damsel, she drops her bad boy boyfriend there and then in the gutter where you laid him out, she falls in love with you and you live happily ever after.

Are you a fucking retarded special case?

Chances are, she’ll either tell you to fuck off and mind your own, or if her boyfriend gets in a fight with you, (most likely scenario) she’ll be helping him fill you in like happened to someone I know – ‘cos women these days are angry, violent, selfish, ungrateful cunts of their own doing.

You also don’t have a clue what they are arguing about, so don’t think for a second you have any moral business at all charging in and involving yourself. What if he’d caught her blowing his friend? Shit, to me that’s not only worth a few choice words said at high volume at close quarters, but a busted nose at the very least. And fuck anyone who disagrees.

And don’t you even dare sit there lying to me that you have ever (and I mean ever) once in your whole wretched life as Hero Turd thought when you’ve seen a couple arguing that you’d take the guys side and start having a go at her. You’d automatically take the woman’s side every-fucking-time, without even asking: ‘What’s going on?’ first. Because that’s what the ever-annoying Hero Turd does, every fucking time…

Let nature take its course. She chose him as a boyfriend. She can drop him any time she chooses (but she won’t, because she love’s drama and her bad boy) so she can suffer the fucking consequences in the meantime. Even if he bashes her one, so fucking what!

People get what they ask for. If she’s such a wonderful person and truly embraces the wonderful side of life, and rewards decent people (like should be the case) then ask yourself this: what in fucks name is she doing with such a prick to begin with, when she could should be with a decent guy…Oh, why, even you, for instance?

She doesn’t want or need rescuing. She doesn’t want or need to be shown the light. She knows what she’s doing, she knows she always has choices, and she’s chosen. So, rough with the smooth, I say…

Why won’t she give the decent guys of this world a chance? Oh, hmmm, she finds them a little boring for her taste, they don’t do much for her, and she prefers this kind of rough and confrontational guy, along with all the lovely drama that goes with it. Well, it’s her own stupid fucking fault then, ain’t it. “Go on son, give her a fucking good slap from me.” I say.

Conclusion (if you actually needed one…)

Think about it. Not only would a real and proper woman not get into a raging violent argument with her man in such a public situation anyway, but you wouldn’t like it if you was in a heated argument with your girlfriend and was completely just in your viewpoint (or even wasn’t; fucking irrelevant, really), and some arsehole Hero Turd suddenly flew in – dum du-du-DUM! – involving themselves taking her side without so much as a polite ‘What’s going on?’

It’s disrespectful, it’s infuriating, and, if you did it to me, I’d fucking kill you.

Listen, I don’t even willingly let coppers interfere and tell me what to do, so fucked if I’m going to blithely let some cunt without a badge tell me shit without attacking ‘em. I’m not having it. And, real men will always feel the same way…

You see, Mr. Hero Turd only interferes because he believes in the old Hollywood fantasy, and believes it makes him look good; heroic. That’s it. But, what Hero Turd is too stupid to realize is, 5 minutes after he’s gone – his good deed done for the day – the happy couple have made up and she’s blowing and fucking her bad boy’s brains out, without giving Mr. Hero Turd a second grateful thought. (Stupid fucking bitch.)

The moral? Fuck her, and her busted nose. It’s her own fault for being with him – so mind your own goddamn business.

Oh, and what of Mr. Hero Turd? Smash his fucking face in, if you can – he deserves it.