Rule #2: Never Let A Woman Compromise Your Friendships

This can be a complicated thing to grasp, but it’s probably the most important rule of them all if you value your friends and want them to stick around forever. Although I’m going to write this article from the perspective of yourself, should you get into a new relationship, but it also applies to your friends if they get into one. You need to look at what I’m saying from both perspectives and recognise the signs of what may be going on.

If you have real friends, then believe me, they will outlast any relationship… I don’t give a damn how magical and amazing it is with your new girlfriend – that shit wears off fast, and it can all be over in a second, and may cost you every friend you have, so pay attention…

Let ‘s set the scenario…

You’ve just gotten a new girlfriend. It’s all wonderful and she’s little miss perfect. But, something is not quite right. Your friends have started to behave differently to you, or, are intimating (or outright saying) that they don’t like her.

You’re disappointed. Angry, and resentful, even. Your little harmonious world of butterflies and flowers has suddenly collapsed around you…

What do you do?

You take the rose coloured goggles off, and you listen to your friends – that’s what you should always do.

Listen to their grievances, and listen good. Ninety nine times out of a hundred, they will be well founded.

It may be they are reporting to you sly and devious behaviour they’ve seen her pull, or they are simply angry with you for discarding them the minute you got with your new girlfriend.

Are they angry with you, at her, or both?

Check your behaviour, her behaviour, and see it from your friends point of view. What’s really going on? Real friends don’t just suddenly turn on you, and wouldn’t, unless there was something directly threatening their friendship with you – and a girlfriend who was nicely fitting in to your life would not be perceived as a threat.

You also can’t be mad at them for reaching the conclusion that your new girlfriend is entirely to blame for leading you away. It may be that she is, but really, the buck stops with you, pal. You need to show your friends some fucking consideration and respect.

But listen, it gets much deeper…

You also need to be sure as shit you aren’t being manipulated by this bird into fucking your friendships up. Because, mark my words, the first signs of a woman coming between friends are usually broken arrangements and such like… and… it’s often the woman who’s cleverly pulling the strings, all the while making it look as if it’s your friends’ fault.

If you don’t spot this, sooner or later, your friends will be pissed off and it’ll come to a head. Of course, you’ll likely side with your girlfriend, and if she’s a real class manipulator, she won’t show any anger towards your friends, either. She’ll say something oh-so-sweet-and-understanding like: ‘Gee, I feel a little bad for them, maybe they’re lonely, because they don’t have what we have. I just wanted them to like me. I’m not mad.’

Yeah right, you fucking slag.

One bona fide way to test if your girlfriend is really all you think she is, is to tell her that you have a regular arrangement (just one day a week, say) with your friends, and that she’s not to be included – it’s just a lads thing. Got it?

Even if you have no such arrangement, you make one.

That’s just one day a week you won’t be seeing her.

See how she reacts to that.

Don’t let her include herself, and make it abundantly clear that you won’t be texting or contacting her during this time.

Many bitches will spit their dummy out instantly, but, the real class manipulators will work subversively to fuck your plans up, to stop you having just one day with your friends, but most of all, to show them of the power she secretly (well, secretly to you) has over you.

Mysteriously, things will start happening. Surprise, surprise… she’ll need to talk to you, or urgently need you for something right on the day or time you are supposed to be meeting your friends. She’ll start telling you she doesn’t think you love her – while you are with your friends, pressuring you to instantly contact her. Or, she’ll plan something special and ‘forget it was your lads night out’, making you choose between her and your friends.

Of course, when the well-deserved backlash comes from your friends, it makes them look like uncaring fucks, and once again, she comes out smelling of roses…

Don’t fall for that shit, son. You’ve just been had by a world class bitch.

And, the best thing you can do is to drop her (from the relationship, or with a right hook), and get with a girl who fits into your life and who your friends accept and like. Never put a woman before your friends. Ever.

The aftermath…

Naturally, when Miss Bitch has had her fun and ruined your life by eating away all the goodness there is like the parasite she is, she’ll get bored and drop you, and you won’t have no friends. Even if you do manage to go grovelling back to them and they’re stupid enough to accept you back in, it’ll never be the same, and it’s all your own fucking fault, you mug.

You’ve been warned.